"These happy golden years are passing by, these happy golden years." Laura Ingalls Wilder

Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Season of Change

Summer is dragging on and on. Thankful for the blessings .. there is just so much of summer that I can stand .. then it's time for a change. This has more to do with summer vacation .. as in Nathan being home all summer than the actual 'summer' itself. Today has been one of those days. Nathan was in desperate need of a 'full body spa treatment' .. and that left me in charge of being his stylist. His hair is cut, nails trimmed, ears cleaned, tummy fed. I so had to psych myself up to do this 'to do' list. Here it is Sunday morning. I should be in church. But I feel like complaining instead. The weather outside is gorgeous. I will find it hard to be still in my spirit today. There is just so much I can take .. then my patience wears thin. Patience is usually one of my strong points .. but on beautiful late summer days, and I'm stuck at home again, I'd just like to scream as loud as Nathan did this morning when he was having a bath. Just pour some cold water on me. Some times I just want to run away. Maybe I'll go buy a one way ticket to some unknown place. I'll be better tomorrow perhaps.

Friday reality hit home regarding Nathan's education. When I registered him for school they had set up his classes for general education .. not the life skills class he needs. Now a great sadness came upon me as I looked at his little slip of paper with a 'normal' class routine. Drafting, math, physical education, ... so on. Six different teachers .. a locker with combination .. and a table to pay for extra curricular stuff ready and waiting. He was with me freaking out a bit as we walked through the building. People were laughing .. unknowingly .. upsetting him from their laughter. I looked once again at 'normal' and realized that's just not for him. So we were directed to the counselor's office and had his class schedule changed. A period of sadness came upon me at what could have been .. normal .. has to be exchanged for special accommodations.

Sorry for complaining ... thanks for listening.


Pat said...

No appoligies for complaining, no need for thanks..I'm always listening.

Kathryn said...

No apologies! Your blog, which means your therapy!

Often i have wished for children & God has not so blessed us. But then a post like this is a reality check, because perhaps God knows i couldn't handle the struggles (tho i know there are joys too) of parenting a special needs child.

Blessings to you! School will be open soon. I imagine Nathan enjoys it despite your sadness. God's blessings on you both!

(Phootte - my word for verification. Doesn't that just sound like the mood "phootte on this!")

Crown of Beauty said...

What Pat and Kathryn wrote are so true and I agree. No apologies indeed. It is your blog, and it is where you pour out your heart, and in doing so, get a measure of your healing.

We're friends, Cathy. It's a privilege for me to listen to your heart.

I won't offer remedies or more words, just my understanding.


FlowerLady said...

God bless your heart. May you feel His love and peace and strength surrounding you.

Love and hugs for both you and Nathan.


Anonymous said...

Shameless ditto of the other comments from me.


You know you will be glad for your son just as he is and for special education, most days.

He made a lot of progress during the time I have read your blog, and no doubt, he will take care of his own spa day himself in the future.

Trish said...

I am happy to be a shoulder and to listen. We are to bare one
anothers burdens and Cathy I will take your name before the thrown...you and Nathan. God gives special Children to Special Mom's...I admire you my friend.
Big hugs,

Maria Stahl said...

*wordless hug*
*and a cookie*

Sara said...

funny, i heard no complaining until you used the word. i was just experiencing the privilege of listening to my friend share what is real in her life. had you given us the rose-colored version, could we really be your friends? you have invited us in and although miles separate us, here we sit and stand and walk the halls of school and tend to your son with you. although we cannot lend our hands to your work, our spirits join with you in heavenly places. so thank you for sharing yourself and nathan with us. we love you both.

Mrs. Mac said...

You, my friends, are much better medicine than seeking therapy :) and you are less expensive.

Jada's Gigi said...

Sorry you are trapped at home..again..sorry Nathan needs special rather than "normal"...we hear you...hang in there..this too shall pass....and we do love you both.