"These happy golden years are passing by, these happy golden years." Laura Ingalls Wilder

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Choosing Not (To Swallow The Pill Of Bitterness)


Yesterday found me with two sick children at home. One child is small and for the first five of his eleven years had fragile health. The other (adult) child was teased growing up that she was 'too mean' to get sick ... she somehow escaped 95% of the nasty germs our family passed around. My adult child, Ann, will head back to school today, none for the weary ... feeling better. The small boy, Nathan, that calls me MOM (from the top of his lungs) will hang around another day ... sick. He has a throat infection and is being treated with antibiotics and should be fine in a day or so. He has Down syndrome ... a genetic disorder that can wreak havoc on a persons body and mental capabilities ... it will not go away and I've come to terms with the associated problems. Those terms sometimes include sleepless nights on both our parts. Last night was one of 'those terms' and I must have gotten up at least 11 times with him. Eleven times woken from sleepy dreamland to comfort him. Eleven times to change his pants because he needs help. Nine of those times I almost lost my patience ... and two of those times I remembered that he is only a small child, a gift from God, and needs extra protection and help. We chose life for him .... a high percentage of parents would have 'thrown him away' before birth. My inconvenience is short lived ... his 'inconvenience' is never complained about ... he takes his condition one day at a time and in his best efforts, makes beautiful music. Bitterness? Not on my watch.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

12 comments:

Margie said...

you are a gift from God with a beautiful spirit.

Mrs. Darling said...

Oh Mrs mac this just brings tears to my eyes.

Have a blessed day!

Arlene - BY HIS STRIPES!!! said...

You know how good God is. I don't think I could cope with Nathan's problems like you have. I appreciate your posts so much and pray for you too. You are such a blessing in my life, always encouraging.

Pat said...

This is one of the most moving post I've ever read, you make me cry when I read of your unconditional love for your sweet boy...and for Ann too!
I've heard the cliche` that God only gave children with special needs to special parents...it always sounded so impersonal~till you demonstrated what it really means in your blog. When you are tired and get out of bed for the um-teenth time, know in your heart of hearts that you truly are chosen to be that "special" parent. God chose the right person.

Phil said...

Beautifully written. My sister has taken the opposite road. She's become very bitter over the year about her circumstance of having an autistic daughter who requires nearly 24-hour care. I wish she had 1/100th the patience and spirit you do. I can't even talk with her on the phone anymore because it's just to dark and depressing on her end.

Sara said...

mrs mac, i am praying for you out there in the wilderness. i wish we were closer so i could bring those kids some soup. or at least i could share some fries with nathan. praying for you all. and truly, i do love you.

Mrs. Mac said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. They shall encourage me when I'm tired and worn out. And, Phil, I pray your sister can receive God's healing peace in her situation. Sara, please bring on the soup and fries ... loving you back from the 'wilderness' ;)

Katrina said...

What a lovely, grace-filled post! I am sure that God is working through both you and your sweet Nathan to shine His light in the world!

I think all of us parents struggle with patience sometimes. Thank you for reminding me of what a gift God has given us in our children, whatever their challenges!

Constance said...

You are SUCH a good mommy! Your post touched me and brought tears to my eyes! Sending some love your way!
Connie

Saija said...

this reminds me that we each have those unique burdens to carry ... and it's our attitude that makes the journey hard ... or makes it easy ... God giving us the help at each bend in the road ...

Tammy and Parker said...

Couldn't have said it better myself!

:)

Maggie Ann said...

How precious is a Mother's love...and what a sweet boy to love. Hope Nathan is feeling much better now, sickness is miserable for anyone especially a child.