The other day I was channel surfing and came upon a show about parenting. The host or leader of this little group of women was going on and on about how "they" were in a new parenting age. She went on to say that her children could make their own choices. for example, when she took her baby to the closet, what ever the little one touched is what she'd be wearing. Then went on about her breakfast routine and that if one child wanted waffles and one wanted eggs and ham that she'd make them each their own breakfast ... their choice. It seems that each generation has some new revelation about how to get the job of parenting done. We tend to look at the way we were raised and know that we can probably do things better or different. (Remember, there is nothing new under the sun ... everything gets recycled ... including parenting ideas). I hope this new era of parents can at least steer their children in the direction of our Heavenly Father or this could be the beginning of another Dark Age. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
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Then we sit and wonder why the word is like it is. For myself I believe what God has said.
Scary world we live in isn't it?
I'm an old school parent. I believe you can give your child choices, but the choice is between 2 or three outfits YOU pick. The reason God gave them parents is because they are not yet able to make decisions that are always good for them. God gave directions for parents and children...I put my trust in Him.
yeah, i believe in choices. my hand on your butt or a wooden spoon? ha! meanwhile our pastor started a parenting series yesterday and it was awesome. my favorite line..."we do too much child-centered parenting. we need to do God centered parenting."
Olivia wanted "birthday cake" for breakfast this morning (leftover from my husband's birthday last Friday). I told her she had three options: a pancake, a bowl of cereal or toast and a banana. She chose the banana (didn't finish the toast). And in other areas the choice is this: "You have two options, either you do what I'm asking you to do or you go to the naughty spot. You decide." 99% of the time, she makes a good choice. When she is deliberately disrespectful or defiant, there is sometimes a spanking involved. Thus far --it's working great!
But, I must say that parenting is the most difficult task I've ever taken on in this life!
Apparently I gave Sara no choices when she was little beside a wooden spoon or my hand! But she turned out so good so it must work!
She used the same family parenting techniques on her boys and they also turned out great. Let's hear it for the wooden spoon and hand on your butt method!!
We used a whacker ... leaves no marks ... just a stinging sensation ... and tucked in my purse more easily than a wooden spoon. We also used rules of the house that we memorized ... and these became "standards" that the kids had to write 100's of times. Then there was the "stand in the corner with your nose touching the wall" where Mom or Dad had taped a paper with a circle drawn on it. (nose went inside circle) ... This was for kids too lazy to stand ... and felt the need to lie down. A dinner bell was sounded and you'd better believe it my kids would come home for dinner (they were so embarassed by that bell I was later told) ... late comers ate bread and water in their room. Sassy kids got a good squirt of liquid soap in the mouth.
Dear Mrs. Mac...When I look back and remember how mom punished for us our ill deeds, I really get to thinking."Those WERE the good old days!"
My mom had a fly swatter that she didn't kill flies with. She used it somewhere else.
She used to have a fine set of wooden spoons, but somehow they mysteriously disappeared one time in the dead of the night.
I think my brother had something to do with THAT!
He was getting plain tired of them getting broke on his backside!
I remember one time Betty and I were supposed be home because it was "after dark",and we were sitting watching "Bonanza" at a friends house a few doors down,
Didn't that little lady just come right into that house and escort us both home by the ears!!?
She was a fiesty little thing but all of her children to this day thank her for it!!
Hey Mrs. Mac, Remember how they used to say this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you?
I believe that.
Ma used to hit us really hard with her bare hands[on the seat] and that must of be some stingin to!
She used pepper on OUR bad mouths!
Well I would love to say more but I am on my way out the door.
GOOD posting Mrs. Mac!
Please excuse any spelling errors...Love Terry
Oh another thing...Mom used to tell us to eat our crusts.
Guess what? We are now the ones telling HER too eat her crusts..Ha!!
sometimes i give a choice of 2 outfits. but often i decide. then they have a choice to accept it or get in trouble. haha
two choices. My way or trouble. I think Phyllis got 5 spankings her whole life, and when she's naughty she still covers her butt on the way up the stairs. I must have made a lasting impression.
Kids need structure. None of this choices crap. They can make the choices when they are the parents.
And God should be in the center of it all!
I tend to find myself giving my Daughter choices, but within reason. Althought I have found some issues with this. So who knows, why dont the babies just be born with a manual.
Well excellent post Mrs Mac. I use a kitchenaid spatula on the buttocks. Their spatula is wider and longer than normal ones. I even kepp one in my schoolroom. I dont mention this on my blog because I have a lot of naysayers over there, several who have threatened to turn me in to child services. So I no longer say my form of discipline. But when Tink gets in a fit and I know its nothing to do with sensory disfunction but good ole rebellion she still gets the spatula even though she's nine.
I figure if it was good for Paul and Silas it's good enough for me! :)
We can give our children choices all day long but in the end its all about obedience.
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